Monday, May 21, 2012
The cruel irony that we're exposed to,
there belittles no one whose mind is weak.
I thought better of you,
and it proved to be nothing but my childish imagination.
We lead different lives,
and I really detest you for the person you are.
My foolish fantasies that I'd once thought could be true,
now appear to me, clear as day,
and if I hadn't known better,
I'd have gone on having hopes.
The fool I was, I am no more,
I have a goal in life right now,
it's to become someone that you never will be.
Someone far superior, far greater,
enough to crush your weak little soul.
If I said it once, I said it before.
The day people learn to understand these things I write,
it's the day people can understand me.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
It's mother's day.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
I'm changing, aren't I?
What's happening to me?
Monday, April 23, 2012
I'm so sick of all these people, but I'm scared to be alone.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
It's tiring, to put on a mask everyday.
I can't stand it.
Smiling, being all spirited in class.
Why do I even try?
Honestly I've had my fair share of quarrels and squabbles,
but I've become so numb that these aren't the things that irritate me anymore.
I grew up surrounded by quarrels, in a hateful environment,
but I always try to look at the positive side of things, at least I think I do.
Yet, each time I try it seems my efforts are to no avail.
A father that calls every now and then to ask if I'm alright,
does he really think that's enough?
When I reach home the moment I step in my mother sighs,
and it ain't just a normal sigh, it's a loud, intentional sigh.
And she moans she's tired, her body aches.
I know all of that, you don't have to repeat it 365 times a year to get it sunk in my head,
I'm not 5.
She always tells me, money isn't a problem, focus on your studies for now.
Noble words coming out of her mouth don't you think?
And yet, why is it every single time I reach home you come and bitch to me about how
that dog of a father doesn't give you money?
Do I look like I can do anything about it?
Sure I understand you're angry cause he doesn't give you enough,
but just because I'm his son and I look a little like him you're going to vent out your anger towards him
on me?
What? Is there no where else for you to let it all out so you just let it out on the first person you see reach home?
There you go telling me not to worry about money,
and the first thing you bitch to me about when I come is money?
How for fuck's sake will I not be able to worry then?
I'm your son, I understand, I have compassion, I'm human.
But please, why is it that you don't understand that in my current status I can't help out financially,
sure I can thrift a little here and there but that's all I can do right?
If you're tired from work then do less housework, it's that simple.
I'm not asking you to sweep my room, I can do that on my own.
The thing is you can't stand the sight of the house not being swept for a day and
you go just go ahead and sweep it and complain about how we don't help and all that shit?
I'm in school, what the fuck do you want me to do.
I've so much to rant, a lot a lot more, but I'll stop, because me? I'm tired too.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
"It seems I'm not the answer for the questions you choose to have"
Orientation so far is like "mehh..."
Wasn't expecting much anyway.
Do I have a poker face,
Or do people not truly care.
Cause to be honest I've been feeling horrible.
And this feelings hurts, I don't know why,
But it feels like something bad is amidst.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
"I'm tripping on your words, you got my head spinning. I don't know where to go from here."
We all have targets, whether we're aware of it or whether it's part of our sub-conscience.
Either case, it's still something we hope to achieve.
Some have bigger ones than others, and some have targets easier to hit.
But if we dare dream it, can we really get it?
Giving up was never an option for me and I doubt it will be an option any time soon.
Though, I constantly find myself lost, unaware.
Being alone is scary, having no one to turn to is scary.
I'm scared, I really am.
I've never been so afraid.
It sends a chill down my spine and makes my hair stand as if it were in the hands of a puppeteer.
I'm petrified.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
"Cherish every second, we never know when it may be our last."
Been quarreling with my mum over the past few days,
it hasn't been nice.
Money revolves around her world, so a son that doesn't work enough
is a son she'd rather not have.
If that were the case, I'd rather see you go adopt one of your friend's sons that you've been
complimenting so much.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
"If you had a pair of wings and could fly , where would you go?" "Anywhere, anywhere but here,"
I would gladly accept a break from this place right now if I were given the chance.
Money, it's such a devious thing behind that plastic/paper face isn't it.
We all yearn for wealth, we all want a nice life.
But not everyone is blessed with it, and more often than not it's this single word that
causes many to suffer.
Parenting, it ain't easy, or so it seems.
I'm grateful towards them, I truly am.
But I'll never be like the parents they were, where the children had to suffer for their mistakes.
I'm tired, I want to rest for just a little bit.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
"Matters of heart are hard to address, especially when yours is full of emptiness"
I've been sitting around these past few days just laying down before my sleep, thinking.
We're mere mortals, there's only so much a single person can take, am I wrong?
Some people are stronger willed than others, strength is a gift, but it'll only grow as we grow too.
How much pain can one take?
Do we perform better when we're at our limits, when we're afraid of the consequences.
As a person, do I only give my best when everything is crumbling down, when it's all about to destroy you?
Is this what we call 'Complacency'?
Or have we gotten so comfortable with ourselves we've forgotten how it feels for it to hurt?
Why do we have to be on the verge of devastation for us to have a reason to take action?
Then again, is this just reiterating what we call 'enjoying every minute of our lives',
to a point where we see no point fighting until it's almost gone.
Is the world such a shallow place that we don't notice? Just thinking you know.
Meh, if you see this and somehow get paranoid, nothing is directed at you, don't worry~
Get well soon and take care(:
