Three after a one because bad luck.

It never occurred to me that whenever we don't want to ask questions, it is not because we're afraid to ask.
It's because we're afraid of the answers.

Twelve

Ever felt like you've apologised so much that you have a feeling others just don't feel the sincerity
in your apologies anymore?

Eleven

Today someone cut my queue while I was waiting in line to enter the MRT, I thought better of it.

Today someone jabbed my stomach with their elbow and didn't apologise, I thought better of it.

Today someone took most of my space on the seat of the train, I thought better of it.

Some days, you just don't feel like causing a big fuss. You know?

I've just been down, I feel lonely.

Ten

I always feel like I'm the black cat, as though people don't want to go near me,

as though I bring them bad luck or like I seemed different.

I don't even know why I still write here, maybe it's because I've got no one to talk to.

Nine

I was sitting down by a table and chair the other day and I saw a bird fly to my feet.
The bird looked me in the eye.
It hopped around for a bit before flying away.
As I watched the bird take flight, I got up on my feet and began walking home.
My journey home however, felt different than that of the bird's.
I felt restrained, like I could soar if something wasn't holding me back.
I'm scared to death right now.

Eight

Today, I realised I have wonderful friends, and I'm thankful for that. I truly am.
They're an amazing group and I do cherish time spent with them.
Then goes the other half of my life.
The tiring, soul-sapping, energy-draining, mind-killing part of my life.
I'm tired, I truly truly am.
School work is horrid,
I spend my hours lost in my own thought.
I truly think I'm in love with you,
yet I can never bare to bring up the topic that caused so much shit in the past.
My family is a mess.
My sister is self-centered and selfish,
she's also extremely unappreciative of the fact that her mother  had taken care of her
for the past 19 years maybe?
Now you're earning a decent amount and you're complaining cause you're giving her what?
200 per month? She fucking worked part time for the past 8 years and I'm pretty sure she gave you
more than 200 per month. She also paid for your school fees, your food, did housework and even
occasionally cook for you. I honestly bet you don't know I have a $7500 trip to Toronto in Year 3 and
I'm saving my fucking balls off trying to keep mum from forking out any. I just look at the way you spend and it disgusts me. Recreation is one thing, being a spendthrift is another. Now that you're earning money, you
keep saying 'It's my money what'. Please, when the fuck have your heard your mum say that to you.
Sure, she's mentioned how she expects you to pay it back to her in your lifetime or whatsoever,
but what parents fork out for you to grow up is more than a debt, you can't pay back the time and
attention, life lessons and all the wonderful things your family does for you with just money.
But you're still my sister, and I hope that truly, deep down from the bottom of my heart,
that some day you will see things in the same light as I do, and appreciate mum more for what
she has done, instead of just complaining on how she's biased towards me.
Biased? The other day I remembered, it was a Friday, you told mum, 'I want eat egg yong tau foo,
can make for me and Foo Hong?" At that time, mum had just partially recovered from her excessive
blood loss and was beginning to get a little better. That Friday she was working, and she had to report
to work early, so she had to leave home by 1. In spite of that, being tired, having to leave early for work,
she fucking went out of her way to the market to buy the ingredients for you and prep-ed your meal
for you and your husband. Mum only asks me if I want those for dinner if she has the ingredients before
hand. If she doesn't, she simply just tells me to buy or perhaps give me something to eat with porridge.
Perhaps in your mind you think she's biased and maybe she is. However, keep in mind that the woman
that brought you up is a woman I know all too well like the fucking back of my hand and I know she
loves you for who you are, and it just breaks her heart the fucking way you treat her. Has she ever
told you how she would tell me how proud she would be of you in the past, no matter what you did
and how bad your eyesight was, you managed to graduate with a diploma and you're working
a proper job earning a stable salary? Has she ever told you how proud she was that you found a
loving husband that dotes on you that she can leave safely in his hands?
Maybe so, maybe no. Whatever.
I don't tweet much anymore, only because this has recently been the only shit on my mind.
Obviously this is too much.
And also, people are still inconsiderate as fuck when taking the MRT.

Seven

This is how it feels to not believe.